Just call me “King of Cabbage”

Okay, let me come out and say it: cabbage is disgusting. Coleslaw? Yuk. Kimchee? The thought of it makes me gag. Cabbage soups? I’d rather eat heaping handfuls of monkey dung.

But me, I’m an innovator. I recognize that for whatever reason, cabbage is still bought and sold on a daily basis (really, you can’t have someone buy without selling, so that’s kind of redundant). And I even get that some of these people actually enjoy eating cabbage. I suspect they’re good friends with the people who enjoy tripping down flights of stairs and the people who like walking across shards of glass barefoot. However, for everyone else, cabbage represents a hurdle in the world of veggies. We can eat carrots, onions, lettuce, celery, heck even bok choy is pretty good, but cabbage is the bottom rung of the vegetable ladder. And really, only carrots make a good rung for the ladder of vegetables. Zucchinis too.

But I, the great Dan, have found a way to make cabbage that doesn’t suck. And I’m going to share it with you.

Olive Oil
Apple Cider Vinegar
Garlic (chopped up
Brown Sugar
1/2 head of cabbage (or round about, also chopped up)
Whatever you like on Tuna

Small bit of Butter+ olive oil in skillet on low heat.
Chop up and add cabbage in once it’s a little warm. Add more olive oil
Add a heaping tablespoon of brown sugar, and a little bit of ACV
Add chopped up garlic

In a bowl:
Mix your tuna with your things you like with Tuna (I used tuna+mustard+ taco bell hot sauce)
Add tuna to skillet (optional)

Continue to cook down, let it get to where the cabbage is what you like- I prefer totally limp which takes longer. Push out on to a plate, and add the Tuna if you haven’t done so already. BAM! Delicious cabbage, once an oxymoron, now a reality

The exact amounts are up to you. It’s delicious and incredibly filling, and cabbage is a disgusting, but fairly healthy thing. Things I’d like to add or substitute next time I cook it up:


I think a Nobel prize in Chemistry (for the cooking), Literature (for the recipe), Peace (for taking away the stigma of cabbage), and Medicine (making a healthy dish). Stockholm, I’m waiting for my call.


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